It's always like this ... I really never accomplish anything in my life ... whether it is academy or other things... I want to excel in everything ... I want to succeed ... I want to be known among others that I have potential in an area ... But I guess I was wrong ...
For academic area, I lose out to a lot of people, I am the weakest in my family clan for academic. Everyone can get merit busary easily every year and I am the one looking at them with envy and get nothing. "Reap what you sow" ... Everyone says that too frequently. They are the ones with a lot of successes and talked loudly.
For Secondary School, I was a member in Band, computer club, library club ... but none last long. I was even a prefect but had to bootlick and bribe to climb to top position. So disgusting ! I gave up.
Outside school, I learnt arts and many other things but ended as quickly as it started. I wanted to give myself one last chance to prove that I was not doomed to fail in everything I do. I decided to join Wushu. The training process was an unforgettable experience and I did really enjoy it. Main thing is, I began to forget that I am a doomed person. I tried my very best to learn and much more afraid to lose what remain of my little confidence that I have built up during training.
My heart is bleeding ... I study so hard for my PM test and it only turn out to be a C for me. I should have gotten a 'A'. I knew that no matter how hard I try to work hard, it's simply useless ... Doom in everything ...
Chang Quan prove to be another major obstacle for me ... It's been a tremedous stress for me to learn Chang Quan. I even have nightmares of not doing well chang quan in front of the coach that taught me. Maybe the fortune teller is right ... My first 50 years will not achieve anything ... Only when I am after 50 years old then will achieve something insignificant.
To my cousins who was also borned the same month, date as me, do you agree that children borned on 25 august is extremely unlucky ?! Don't know whether it is our destiny to fail in everything that we try our best to achieve. I begin to believe it. Sometimes, I wonder if I reincarnate, will I be the same ?
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UNCLE...u r suppose to encourage ur cousin why ur post sound so....negative? cheers la, hmmm fortunate teller can listen but must alway believe that 人定胜天 and 命运掌握在自己手上..k...dun give up!!! ^.^
ReplyDeleteHaha ... Thanks for your advice ... Aunty :)
ReplyDeleteu nvr die b4 arh...call me aunty?! only i can call u uncle hor...dun u noe tt? hahas =P
ReplyDeleteWAH, so fierce siaz.. like that not fair leh.. hmm.. anwyay, jiayou ar YT.. we all will always support you de =) and ya, achievements to an extend is ownself define de.. =)
ReplyDeleteOh ... Thanks a lot :]
ReplyDelete