Finally !

Finally, I get to 4 out of 5 legendary dragons (Yu-Gi-Oh 5 D Dragon)! Deck Construction is progressing ... Blue Eyes White Dragon still going on ...

Stress ... Stress ... And Stress ... 1st time feeling so stressed ! However, I should be feeling happy that I am going to Korea this September. Hopefully North Korea will not declare war against South Korea ...

And also finally, I got a silver for my grading exam ! Very nervous yet elated at the same time :) Feeling nervous that I don't have much time to reach red - white belt since I have to go NS next year ... But the thing that makes me happy is because I did not fail my coach expectation ...

Very tired ... I sometimes feel that my life is waning away as I will often feel stabbing pain in my heart ... Don't know if that's a sign for heart attack ... Better get prepared to go for a check up ...

Very disappointing .... I was given a B for my IPP results ... Should I blame for my company supervisor's demanding and high expectations or is it just me who is not efficient?

Either case, I feel that the company supervisor does not like me and look down on me ... Forget it ! I have to count myself having bad luck then ... Sigh ...

Now ... I just feel empty ... Everyday is just thinking about projects, homework and future work life ... Study so hard but still produce not so good results ... Pointless ... Simply pointless ... Everything seems to be very bleak and unstable ... Have to admit that people born under 25 August is quite 倒霉 ... Work as hard as others but luck doesn't favor you ...

Why can't I just like other people who can score well ... Damn angry now ... Thought that I finally can get 3.5 to get into uni where my supervisor gave me a B for IPP and pull me back to square one ...

People like my supervisor whose life is very smooth all the way can't understand how people like me feel ...

Heartbroken ... ...

... ... 5 years have passed in an instance ... you shouldn't be dying this fast ... Not for another 30 years ...

My buddy, a terrapin known as Red Ear Slider (RES) is dying of lung infection. It is one of its kind, being intelligent and responsive to its favourite owner. It is also the most playful and energetic terrapin I have ever seen. Now, it is lying there cold as rock, its once energetic legs and forearms were limp and still.

I was full of guilt and frustration. Why didn't I stop feeding them their pellets and fed them something else instead ? My terrapin, Jade was a beautiful terrapin, always hungry for more food. It ate a lot of things like cauliflower, carrot shreds, prawns, bread, dried shrimps and fish. However, as humans, we often assume what our actions are right and beneficial to others. Those food were not meant for terrapins as those food were like junk food to them, equilivant to us eating hamburgers for every meal of our lives.

It was not right ... I should have known it soon. Things came worse when it fell into the toliet bowl head first. It drowned and almost died. We saved it and took it to the doc. It soon became more healthier. Sometimes later, it fell into the toliet bowl again and never recover. It didn't eat for days, weeks, even months.

We brought it to the vet and the vet gave it injections but state her situation was not good. She was dying. I was devastated. Now, as i am typing the blog, i peer into my kitchen toilet, hoping it to rejuvernate and crawl around as usual. But again, it was just the darkness and the limp body of my RES. Rest well, my friend. I will always miss you.

Humilation = Motivation

Humilation is equal to Motivation. I get the feeling of humilation many times before and that is the source where all my motivation comes from.

It is true that humilation is a pretty nasty thing that can happen to you. But trust me, it is a great source of motivation to inspire you to achieve greater things.

Here is a personal example of me learning things through humilation. I was learning language at a moment of time and there was this friend who tested me those words before a quiz. I was pretty confident and I was kenna humilated because I did not do everything correctly. Then my friend laughed at me and say that I was not well prepared at all.

Well, I was pretty embarrassed and hung my head like a defeated dog. However, when the test came, I could actually remember the words quite well and I did well on the test. The reason that I could remember those words are because my brain stimulate me to register those words sub - consciously and I sort of getting better grades than my friend who tested me on that day.

I have to give credits to my friends to make me understand this theory that humilation = motivation. As far as I am concerned, when a person is humilated or tends to land in an embarrassing situation, he / she tends to remember throughout his/ her life.

I was thinking aloud, instead of avoiding teacher's questions and hide behind your friend's back, why not be brave to stand up and answer teacher's question. Classmates may jeer and laugh at you, you may have been humilated by the awkward situation, but try to be strong and bear the humilation, for humilation etched deeper than just memorising those theory stuff.

Trust me, I have gained a valuable lesson on this thanks to all those who laughed and jeered at me during class.

Training Resume !!

Hahahahahahahaha ........ I am finally back after not being able to write blog !

Gaining much experience from TEP attachment, I decided to devote all my personal time on my training to hone my skills even further.

It dawned on me that I learnt and master the feel of some difficult movements like wai pai lian and xuan zi faster when I am training alone without coach's supervision.

It happened when I am training at Cheng San CC two hours before the actual training. I was training hard and realised that I grasped the feeling fast and the feel somehow faded even faster.

Without the coach's supervison, my whole body is light and relaxed, and I am actually feeling relaxed when I am doing wai pai lian which is very difficult for me to do currently.

What's more, I do not feel nearly as exhausted when I am doing the actual training. ( Perhaps I am more relaxed and not using too much strength)

Wushu is my life and soul. I cannot live without it. I have decided to spend most of my time to train other than studying.

I am very disappointed with my physical endurance. There was once when my chang quan coach give me her special training, I actually vomit a lot of water after receiving her special training... ... Not only once, but it happens whenever she gave me special training.
Don't know why I feel like fainting after her training ... Am i just too weak or what !? Very frustrating ...... I like her style of special training very much and yet I can't do anything to my weak body.

That's why I seldom go to her to train my chang quan .... My parents don't want me to damage my body anymore ...

However, I am not going to give up ! I will train even harder myself by using my own method! I will train myself to push myself beyond my limits ... (Hopefully I won't collapse as a result)

I am going to train like the DBZ character - Vegeta ! Fuhahahaha ...

Powered Up !

So many days haven't write blog le ... Hehe ...

Today, I feel energetic though I am having cough :( Work's alright and the client is pleased with our storyboard. Nothing much today except having bad stomachache. Well, I was a bit worried that I didn't go for the NYP wushu club training because there are quite a few coaches saw me playing yugioh card games down there.

Well ... I had to quickly escape to Cheng San CC for shelter. I waited and waited for 2 hours ( Plus Dinner), doing some plannings on the Flash Games which I had in mind to introduce it to my client. Then we start training at 8pm. I can't seem to master the lian bu quan, especially breaking elbow stance ... Quite troublesome ... Later, I begin to feel a bit giddy and breathless ... ( Because I just recover from flu), so I sort of slack a bit and rest here and there.

I wanted to power up and train for this 9 week haf shift attachment .. but time passed by so fast, I only got 5 more weeks left. Better buck up and power up to train during leisure time.

My Only Enemy Is Stress !

My Girlfriend !?

Let me introduce you to my girlfriend who is gentle yet fierce at the same time but will accompany me when I am lonely and sad. She is charming when she's sleeping deeply. She is also a fussy eater who wouldn't eat anything before serving her delicious meal.

She is playful when she gets bored and nibble me either at my arm or my shoulder when I carry her around. One thing that she hates is the sound of my spear which I accquire it not long ago.











































However, she has one illness known as feline epilepsy or simply known as fits/seizures. It is truly terrible when she had one of those fits. ( See youtube for yourself to view how bad feline epilepsy can be) She had those innocent bright eyes looking at you whenever you call her name. It's heart wrenching to see her struggling when she had fits.

She had suffered 10-12 times of fits in 10 jan 2008. I couldn't sleep or eat at all. I lose 5 - 6 kg for about a week or two for that. We sent her to clementi animal clinic but it was useless. We had to send her to Mount Pleasant situated at Whitley Rd at around 11pm. It was a hard journey as we took cab there and she was still suffering from fits.

The doctor there told us to be prepared mentally for she may not last through the night. I couldn't sleep that night. I lost my will to live on. I was awake and ready to pick up the phone. No ringing sound through the night. My sister and my mum went to see her. I didn't go but from what they describe, the cat had many medical equipments attached to her. The doctor told us that it was this cat's will to live to see us and accompany us again, that's why the cat survived the night.

We were still weeping day and night. Why? We wanted to end her life and put her to sleep. But it was her determination and strong desire to see us kept her alive ! We couldn't do it. We simply couldn't do it. That's why we spend few thousands of dollars on her checkup to see if she's alright.

Till date, she had a few minor fits couple of months ago but now she's calm and sleepy, lying on the sofa yawning.

This is the video on the day she had her most serious fits ( I recorded it during the morning)... She looked normal and fine and even respond to me when I call her.