Vaxton 1992

Finally !

2010-07-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

Finally, I get to 4 out of 5 legendary dragons (Yu-Gi-Oh 5 D Dragon)! Deck Construction is progressing ... Blue Eyes White Dragon still going on ...

Stress ... Stress ... And Stress ... 1st time feeling so stressed ! However, I should be feeling happy that I am going to Korea this September. Hopefully North Korea will not declare war against South Korea ...

And also finally, I got a silver for my grading exam ! Very nervous yet elated at the same time :) Feeling nervous that I don't have much time to reach red - white belt since I have to go NS next year ... But the thing that makes me happy is because I did not fail my coach expectation ...

Very tired ... I sometimes feel that my life is waning away as I will often feel stabbing pain in my heart ... Don't know if that's a sign for heart attack ... Better get prepared to go for a check up ...

Very disappointing .... I was given a B for my IPP results ... Should I blame for my company supervisor's demanding and high expectations or is it just me who is not efficient?

Either case, I feel that the company supervisor does not like me and look down on me ... Forget it ! I have to count myself having bad luck then ... Sigh ...

Now ... I just feel empty ... Everyday is just thinking about projects, homework and future work life ... Study so hard but still produce not so good results ... Pointless ... Simply pointless ... Everything seems to be very bleak and unstable ... Have to admit that people born under 25 August is quite 倒霉 ... Work as hard as others but luck doesn't favor you ...

Why can't I just like other people who can score well ... Damn angry now ... Thought that I finally can get 3.5 to get into uni where my supervisor gave me a B for IPP and pull me back to square one ...

People like my supervisor whose life is very smooth all the way can't understand how people like me feel ...

Heartbroken ... ...

2009-12-22T09:09:00.000-08:00

... ... 5 years have passed in an instance ... you shouldn't be dying this fast ... Not for another 30 years ...

My buddy, a terrapin known as Red Ear Slider (RES) is dying of lung infection. It is one of its kind, being intelligent and responsive to its favourite owner. It is also the most playful and energetic terrapin I have ever seen. Now, it is lying there cold as rock, its once energetic legs and forearms were limp and still.

I was full of guilt and frustration. Why didn't I stop feeding them their pellets and fed them something else instead ? My terrapin, Jade was a beautiful terrapin, always hungry for more food. It ate a lot of things like cauliflower, carrot shreds, prawns, bread, dried shrimps and fish. However, as humans, we often assume what our actions are right and beneficial to others. Those food were not meant for terrapins as those food were like junk food to them, equilivant to us eating hamburgers for every meal of our lives.

It was not right ... I should have known it soon. Things came worse when it fell into the toliet bowl head first. It drowned and almost died. We saved it and took it to the doc. It soon became more healthier. Sometimes later, it fell into the toliet bowl again and never recover. It didn't eat for days, weeks, even months.

We brought it to the vet and the vet gave it injections but state her situation was not good. She was dying. I was devastated. Now, as i am typing the blog, i peer into my kitchen toilet, hoping it to rejuvernate and crawl around as usual. But again, it was just the darkness and the limp body of my RES. Rest well, my friend. I will always miss you.

Humilation = Motivation

2009-12-20T22:17:00.000-08:00

Humilation is equal to Motivation. I get the feeling of humilation many times before and that is the source where all my motivation comes from.

It is true that humilation is a pretty nasty thing that can happen to you. But trust me, it is a great source of motivation to inspire you to achieve greater things.

Here is a personal example of me learning things through humilation. I was learning language at a moment of time and there was this friend who tested me those words before a quiz. I was pretty confident and I was kenna humilated because I did not do everything correctly. Then my friend laughed at me and say that I was not well prepared at all.

Well, I was pretty embarrassed and hung my head like a defeated dog. However, when the test came, I could actually remember the words quite well and I did well on the test. The reason that I could remember those words are because my brain stimulate me to register those words sub - consciously and I sort of getting better grades than my friend who tested me on that day.

I have to give credits to my friends to make me understand this theory that humilation = motivation. As far as I am concerned, when a person is humilated or tends to land in an embarrassing situation, he / she tends to remember throughout his/ her life.

I was thinking aloud, instead of avoiding teacher's questions and hide behind your friend's back, why not be brave to stand up and answer teacher's question. Classmates may jeer and laugh at you, you may have been humilated by the awkward situation, but try to be strong and bear the humilation, for humilation etched deeper than just memorising those theory stuff.

Trust me, I have gained a valuable lesson on this thanks to all those who laughed and jeered at me during class.

Training Resume !!

2009-11-12T07:06:00.003-08:00

Hahahahahahahaha ........ I am finally back after not being able to write blog !

Gaining much experience from TEP attachment, I decided to devote all my personal time on my training to hone my skills even further.

It dawned on me that I learnt and master the feel of some difficult movements like wai pai lian and xuan zi faster when I am training alone without coach's supervision.

It happened when I am training at Cheng San CC two hours before the actual training. I was training hard and realised that I grasped the feeling fast and the feel somehow faded even faster.

Without the coach's supervison, my whole body is light and relaxed, and I am actually feeling relaxed when I am doing wai pai lian which is very difficult for me to do currently.

What's more, I do not feel nearly as exhausted when I am doing the actual training. ( Perhaps I am more relaxed and not using too much strength)

Wushu is my life and soul. I cannot live without it. I have decided to spend most of my time to train other than studying.

I am very disappointed with my physical endurance. There was once when my chang quan coach give me her special training, I actually vomit a lot of water after receiving her special training... ... Not only once, but it happens whenever she gave me special training.
Don't know why I feel like fainting after her training ... Am i just too weak or what !? Very frustrating ...... I like her style of special training very much and yet I can't do anything to my weak body.

That's why I seldom go to her to train my chang quan .... My parents don't want me to damage my body anymore ...

However, I am not going to give up ! I will train even harder myself by using my own method! I will train myself to push myself beyond my limits ... (Hopefully I won't collapse as a result)

I am going to train like the DBZ character - Vegeta ! Fuhahahaha ...

Powered Up !

2009-09-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

So many days haven't write blog le ... Hehe ...

Today, I feel energetic though I am having cough :( Work's alright and the client is pleased with our storyboard. Nothing much today except having bad stomachache. Well, I was a bit worried that I didn't go for the NYP wushu club training because there are quite a few coaches saw me playing yugioh card games down there.

Well ... I had to quickly escape to Cheng San CC for shelter. I waited and waited for 2 hours ( Plus Dinner), doing some plannings on the Flash Games which I had in mind to introduce it to my client. Then we start training at 8pm. I can't seem to master the lian bu quan, especially breaking elbow stance ... Quite troublesome ... Later, I begin to feel a bit giddy and breathless ... ( Because I just recover from flu), so I sort of slack a bit and rest here and there.

I wanted to power up and train for this 9 week haf shift attachment .. but time passed by so fast, I only got 5 more weeks left. Better buck up and power up to train during leisure time.

My Only Enemy Is Stress !

2009-07-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

My Girlfriend !?

2009-06-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to my girlfriend who is gentle yet fierce at the same time but will accompany me when I am lonely and sad. She is charming when she's sleeping deeply. She is also a fussy eater who wouldn't eat anything before serving her delicious meal.

She is playful when she gets bored and nibble me either at my arm or my shoulder when I carry her around. One thing that she hates is the sound of my spear which I accquire it not long ago.

However, she has one illness known as feline epilepsy or simply known as fits/seizures. It is truly terrible when she had one of those fits. ( See youtube for yourself to view how bad feline epilepsy can be) She had those innocent bright eyes looking at you whenever you call her name. It's heart wrenching to see her struggling when she had fits.

She had suffered 10-12 times of fits in 10 jan 2008. I couldn't sleep or eat at all. I lose 5 - 6 kg for about a week or two for that. We sent her to clementi animal clinic but it was useless. We had to send her to Mount Pleasant situated at Whitley Rd at around 11pm. It was a hard journey as we took cab there and she was still suffering from fits.

The doctor there told us to be prepared mentally for she may not last through the night. I couldn't sleep that night. I lost my will to live on. I was awake and ready to pick up the phone. No ringing sound through the night. My sister and my mum went to see her. I didn't go but from what they describe, the cat had many medical equipments attached to her. The doctor told us that it was this cat's will to live to see us and accompany us again, that's why the cat survived the night.

We were still weeping day and night. Why? We wanted to end her life and put her to sleep. But it was her determination and strong desire to see us kept her alive ! We couldn't do it. We simply couldn't do it. That's why we spend few thousands of dollars on her checkup to see if she's alright.

Till date, she had a few minor fits couple of months ago but now she's calm and sleepy, lying on the sofa yawning.

This is the video on the day she had her most serious fits ( I recorded it during the morning)... She looked normal and fine and even respond to me when I call her.

Hmmm ...

2009-06-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

After watching Fearless and Ip Man ... I wonder which is the better of the two ... Hmmm ... Hard to say ...

Do I have the courage to continue my Chang Quan ...

2009-05-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

It's always like this ... I really never accomplish anything in my life ... whether it is academy or other things... I want to excel in everything ... I want to succeed ... I want to be known among others that I have potential in an area ... But I guess I was wrong ...

For academic area, I lose out to a lot of people, I am the weakest in my family clan for academic. Everyone can get merit busary easily every year and I am the one looking at them with envy and get nothing. "Reap what you sow" ... Everyone says that too frequently. They are the ones with a lot of successes and talked loudly.

For Secondary School, I was a member in Band, computer club, library club ... but none last long. I was even a prefect but had to bootlick and bribe to climb to top position. So disgusting ! I gave up.

Outside school, I learnt arts and many other things but ended as quickly as it started. I wanted to give myself one last chance to prove that I was not doomed to fail in everything I do. I decided to join Wushu. The training process was an unforgettable experience and I did really enjoy it. Main thing is, I began to forget that I am a doomed person. I tried my very best to learn and much more afraid to lose what remain of my little confidence that I have built up during training.

My heart is bleeding ... I study so hard for my PM test and it only turn out to be a C for me. I should have gotten a 'A'. I knew that no matter how hard I try to work hard, it's simply useless ... Doom in everything ...

Chang Quan prove to be another major obstacle for me ... It's been a tremedous stress for me to learn Chang Quan. I even have nightmares of not doing well chang quan in front of the coach that taught me. Maybe the fortune teller is right ... My first 50 years will not achieve anything ... Only when I am after 50 years old then will achieve something insignificant.

To my cousins who was also borned the same month, date as me, do you agree that children borned on 25 august is extremely unlucky ?! Don't know whether it is our destiny to fail in everything that we try our best to achieve. I begin to believe it. Sometimes, I wonder if I reincarnate, will I be the same ?

Moving on to TEP ... The thing that I dread most

2009-05-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today is the CS presentation. We had a tough week last week. Last week 5 days chiong for CS & PM project. CS is a little easier ... That's what I thought at first ... Well, we are the thrid last group to present. I was quite more nervous and more nervous as other groups were presenting quite well ... Their contents are way too good. We managed to finish our presentation and had a slight problem at the role play. Haha, I act as a poor service provider who throw his temper at the angry customer.

I shout a bit and everyone was stunned ! Maybe my voice too powerful like the kung fu hustle: Lion Roar !

I was kenna stunned by the teacher who told us that we did badly for our ICA 3 which is 50% of our module. My heart was being hit by a steel hammer. What the ... Teacher never says that we need to research more on other stuff not included inside the task. Shit ... This time round, my marks for CS surely goes down a lot.
Tomorrow is my PM presentation le. I must work hard to get that Ang Mo teacher to give high marks for my presentation ! Hope so la ...

A hard decision to make ... Very emotional now ...

2009-05-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

Well, today I went back to my club. Most of my seniors are very surprised I am back .... Hmm ...
Anyway, I learnt dao from zhi wei coach today, quite happy that I had a bit of progress on dao. I kenna cut myself on my arm ...Clumsy as usual ... I had a strange feeling that whenever I go training at NYP wushu club, they will have special training... Don't know what it means ...Weird ...

After NYP wushu training, I dashed down to Cheng San CC to train with my seniors for the NDP stuff ...It went quite alright and time passed by really fast. And when I reach home and have a conversation with my dad on wushu thing, he told me with a serious look:" Son, you have to know which training location to give up and you do know it in your heart which location to give up!"

Hmm ... Right now, there is Hong Wen, NYP wushu club, Cheng San CC, Teck Ghee CC and Yew Tee CC(Rarely go le) ... If I have to give up, I would choose NYP wushu club, since I don't have any feelings there and no sense of belonging there, but the standards there will help me obtain other color belts much faster.

As for Hong Wen, I learnt Chang Quan there and I learnt finish it le and the rest of the lessons is to perfect my movements then ok le. So, cannot give up that place. Teck Ghee CC is my origin, is the place where I first learn wushu. I had emotions attached to that place and Jf coach there, so it will be too hard to break away from that place.

So ... How to make a decision? I also don't know... But one thing I am sure ... That is to train every day from now!

What is this ? Am I the greatest FOOL ?

2009-05-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

Flared up !!!!
I had just recovered from stomach flu ( vomiting, runny nose, throat inflammation, fever bla bla bla ) and CS ICA 1 is staring me right into my eyes... So I don't have any other choice but to KKK CS study materials. Feverish and extremely dull minded, I forced myself to study CS Lesson 1,2,3. Lesson1,2 was okay, in fact quite common sense. I managed to remember all the essential things on monday. ( Sat/ Sun wasted on vomiting and flu ...)

I act smart and do a time management, think i will be able to remember everything for lesson 3, I rest until tuesday and study. To my horror, it was a 31 pages of things and rules about wardrobes and dress/clothings. 31 pages and 1/2 a day to memorise all of it.

So, I study most of it and burned it, take the ash pouring it into a kettle and drink it whenever I am thirsty. Some of it I borrow some memory bread from doraemon and stamp it and eat it during breakfast.

No la, I study a bit like memorising a word out of a sentence and keep telling myself this is stupid. By the way, CS = Customer Service, Not CounterStrike.

I studied until 2.30am, holding papers in front of me and it is definitely impossible to memorise all ! I give up, I simply give up. I went to sleep. Next day, I tried to evade the temperature screening but cannot. 8.30am Ica requires stickers and I went for temperature taking. My heart almost burst out of my chest when I stepped towards the machine. Lucky I was recovering, so nothing happens.

Test papers before me, my mind flashed a lot of scattered answers like jig saw puzzle which needs to piece them up. I looked at it and the first word flashed in my mind is "F***" ! Nothing from lesson 3 came out in the test script. ("F***" wasn't a scattered answer) 31 pages and ink were wasted and reduced to ash water and ingredient for bread!!! I really am angry at the person who remind us to study e learning which is lesson 3 for ICA !

However, I am also pleased that I am able to complete most of the questions ! Ha ! So ash water and doraemon's bread do help ! Just kidding ! The person really make a fool out of my class, we are so naive to believe that person's words to actually study 31 pages of nonsense !

Flu ...

2009-05-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

So tired and weak ... I kenna flu from sat till now and did not fully recover ... I thought I tio swine flu and if I go clinic, they will send me to the hospital... Got flu at this period of swine flu is a taboo ... Luckily, it wasn't swine flu or I will be the first case of swine flu in Singapore. Missed quite a lot of training, ndp and sunday's training. Sigh ... Virus nowadays are very strong and antibotics are not able to tackle viruses effectively.

I do hope I can recover fast. Last saturday I accompany my mum to see TCM hospital at Toa Payoh. We met the doctor and she examined me and her statements stunned me and have a negative impact on me. She says that I have a weak heart and that's why I perspired more than others. I have to exercise less and cut down on my training or I might pass away during exercise.
Damn shocking ... I always loved wushu and I had never slack in my training, yet it was not my mental that cannot take it but my physical that cannot take the training.

Sigh ... Heavens made a fool out of people. There are some people who slack in their training despite their physical can take the training but people like me wants to train as hard as possible but we are limited by our physical weakness.

Determination is the key to success ...

2009-04-26T00:30:00.000-07:00

Hmm ... nothing much to say ... learning martial arts is about determination and patience ... I confessed that I had not much of these virtues until these few days where I had finally realised that both are the key to learn and improve on martial arts.

Learning martial arts is not to show off or to compare yourself with others, but to compete you and yourself. If you can improve and progress , it shows that you have already best your previous self. Rather than keep following others, why not slow down and anaylse your mistakes.

I had finally understand it le ... I write this blog is to remind my best friend ( You know who I am refering to ) ... Do not give up and feel depressed ... There are many others who are stronger and more talented than us. If you can keep improving and rectify your previous mistakes, the result will be better than your imagination.

That's it for today ... I wonder what the situation will be like if I take my seniors to the wrong place by accident instead of arriving at pei kio cc ... hehe ... I dare not think of the consequences ...

Power! Unlimited Power !!!

2009-04-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

As Palpatine (Star Wars Most Evil Guy) once said that to Mace Windu, I envied him a lot. Now I no power to do anything le ... Today, I woke up late as usual ( I always cannot quit that bad habit ... ), ate 2 eggs down and dashed for the NYP clubcrawl to help out Li Yan and others.

Well, I took the sandwich board job and it was my first time (quite embarrassed too!) I wandered around in the sports hall, shouting a bit for year 1 students to join my club. They see me like plague god. All scattered away or ignored me and my group and walked away very fast, almost like vanishing at the spot after spotting me, the mobile advertisment.

Giving leaflets was another problem encountered. My weakness was interaction and I stammered quite a lot. So at first those who are interested in my club lost their interest instantly. Hehe ... Bo bian ( No choice ), My only and only weakness. Well, all hope of giving leaflets to year 1 students were gone but we were lucky as we decided to stop at the entrance of sports hall and give them leaflets which ended our task.

Around 12.45pm, we were hungry like mad. So I have a quick lunch ( chicken rice again ) and went back to help out. I was sort of sleepy after a full stomach and watched my friends persuading year 1 students to join.

It's a bit weird, 2009 year1 students seem to afraid wushu club to the point that they would avoid our intense gaze at them when they pass by our club's booth.

Food digested and my energy power is recovered, I went to film the process of the club's performance. How should I say it ... It is nice and elegant generally. But the front part is a bit untidy. It is not my friends' fault ... Well , at least the performance was a success in general.

Things did not turn out good either... My camera was filming the performance until one tiny bit problem occurred out of a sudden. I must say, like owner like camera. Its memory went to its limit and automatically stop filming the last part of the performance. What to do ? I deleted quite a lot of my precious photos taken quite long ago to accomodate the video size. Now suffering 'heart pain' (Loss of some valuable photos)

Although I did some physical training, I fail to train my hand muscle. I watched the video with my family and when the performance went to its climax, the screen shook a lot. My mum even asked if there's any tremors in NYP which resulted in such a lousy film. I blushed! It cannot be helped ! the performace went for seven long minutes and my hands were fixed to that position for 7 long mins too ...

What a pity I cannot film other performance too ... What a pity ... There's eye opener like foreign bodies ( don't know spelled correctly ...) and dancers. They look sexy and pretty. I must remember to buy an expensive camcorder to film 2010 clubcrawl (solely for dancers and foreign bodies) . Wasted ... Now also suffering 'heart pain ' because of this .( loss of some sexy gals picture and video ... damn ... hehe ... just kidding )

Training at cheng san cc at night ... It exhausted me a bit and my legs turned jelly. I almost embarrassed myself in front of juniors ... Powerless le ... Must rest well tonight ... because there's something I must do tmr ...

Finally !!!

2009-04-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

Finally ... I had obtained a new weapon .... Haha ... ( Laughing like a maniac )

No worries ... Today, I woke up with the usual style ... (10:30am) , messy hair and grumpy look. I went with my mum to visit my mother's mother. So hungry and so thirsty, I reached the destination and gobbled down cold desserts and drank pepsi, and soy bean milk as if there's no tomorrow.

All was well until my training almost end, my stomach felt as if kenna hit by cudgel a million times ... ( cudgel = a long stick )

So ... morale of the story is ... Do not be so greedy like me, drink so much and eat so much cold stuff and suffering from severe stomach ache .... Damn ... So painful even I am writing my journal now =(

Snorlax ( Sleeping Pokemon )

2009-04-14T05:15:00.001-07:00

Sleep, sleep and sleep. That's my daily activity. I noticed that it has become a pattern. Monday, tuesday, wednesday = sleep 12 - 16 hrs [ Wake up only to fill my stomach ] . Then wednesday, friday, saturday and sunday training. Hmm ... maybe i should quit that habit le.

Quite sad and happy at the same time because I am about to end my holidays and start school. TEP is about to start on next monday. I have no idea how to handle TEP. People said that TEP is very easy to handle. What's more, I don't have any classmates from BF in my new HR group.

Though it is like a surprise to me. I found that my BF classmate [ Nicholas ] has a friend which is also located to the same HR group as me. His name is lucas. Hmm ... What a coincidence ...

Sorry guys, I couldn't go and practise with you all because I had overslept and was extremely shocked when I woke up to see the time : 11am. Sorry to Li yan and others ...

And also, I will see if I can bring my camera for that grading test day to film you all. Good luck , everyone and I hope that all of you will obtain a gold for grading !

Well, there is nothing special happening today except a phone call from the SBM office , informing me of the things to take note when going back to report to school on monday. TEP still needs an orientation ? Oh my god !!! I guess bonding is necessary even though I dislike it.

Hmm ... Maybe I will try out the bubble tea store at Mac when I go back to school on Monday ... yummy ... Hehe

What a nightmare !

2009-04-12T02:23:00.000-07:00

Today's training for me is like a mess (after warm up )

Well, it was my fault at first. I did not rest well last night due to my bad habit. I was an owl ( nocturnal creature) Who can blame an owl for not sleeping at night... Training as usual, is fun and sweaty. I perspired, until to the point of dehydration. Though there is a saying "Exercise makes one sweat", I feel as if I jumped straight into the swimming pool and train in the swimming pool.

I exhausted my energy and I couldn't focus much after warm up. Warm up exercise is not bad but still, its petrifying to see some instructors observing you while you are making difficult movements. The special training is too intense for me !! I almost black out outside the school when I walk towards boon keng mrt station. ( No joking ... I really mean it ) No stamina ... Or is it because I didn't rest well at night ?

Different people have different personalities. I must admit I am dim and slow in learning. In the past, teachers around me with bad temper will flare up at once when they encounter me who is a dim and slow reaction student. Time flies and many people have changed. I didn't. So ... it seems that most of the time I kenna scolded for my mistakes in my routine.

Never mind ... be strong ! 'Never say die' Quote from the battery I had always admired most ... The energizer.

Maybe its just me who got that feeling. I can't perform well when I am overwhelmed with stress ( more likely panic )

Very fortunately, I have had a wonderful coach who is able to guide a blockhead like me and I am really thankful to him. I will try my best to train harder !

Tomorrow will be going to Pei Kio CC for training ... Hmm ... So worried that my TEP will clash with NDP performance training in Pei Kio cc ...